Dear J,

I think I have to stop writing as if I'm talking to you. We're finally over now. Truly and completely. I fucked up, and I will spend an awful long time regretting it, but I can't change what's happened.

There's still a part of me that holds out hope that maybe tomorrow will be the day that I hear from you. I think at this stage I hope I never do. Let me treasure our memories together, sanitised of all the pain we caused eachother. I'm so tired. And I'm in such a rut. I need to start applying for jobs again, working at my skills, anything other than spending my days feeling sorry for myself.

Please. Leave me alone. Keep out of my thoughts and dreams. Let me sleep.